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Learning how to manage your moods will help you feel happier, and healthier. Our expert advice shows you how to brighten every day - in just five minutes
Dealing with anger
Of all the emotions we experience, anger’s probably the most detrimental. Research shows that chronic anger and aggression may be linked to increased risk of high blood pressure and heart disease. Although getting angry from time to time is human, it needs to be acknowledged, processed and worked through, says physiotherapist and motivational speaker, Sue Fuller-Good.
“If it’s swallowed back and held on to, it becomes a source of negative, joy-killing energy which could seriously hamper health and vitality.” The upside of anger? It alerts you to aspects of your life that may need changing. If you’re constantly blowing up at your partner, for example, there’s probably an underlying issue between the two of you that needs to be addressed.
Overcoming resentment
Resentment is often the result of not being self-assertive, says clinical psychologist Ronel le Roux, and women who struggle to verbalise their needs frequently experience this emotion. Standing up for yourself, and giving yourself permission to say no, you free your time for those people and activities that bring you the most joy. The next time your colleague makes an unreasonable request, make a point of
courteously saying no — it may be difficult the first time, but it gets easier with practice.
Constructive thinking
People who feel the world owes them something experience frequent unhappiness and discontent, says Le Roux. “They think happiness comes from outside, but in reality, happiness is the result of constructive thinking patterns.” When you’re feeling unhappy with your lot, ask yourself, “Can I think differently about this?” or “How would an outsider view my situation?” Consider keeping a daily journal where you answer questions such as: What was great about my day? What was not so great? What can I do to improve this? What did I do today to add quality to my life? What should I try tomorrow?
Accepting sadness
Life events, such as the loss of a loved one, or the end of a relationship, are unavoidable — as is the sadness that accompanies them. When experienced fully, this emotion is actually just a part of joy, says Fuller-Good, as it is usually the memories of happier times that cause sadness. Don’t resist them. Allow yourself to spend time with this emotion, knowing that it’s always temporary.
Ditch the guilt
We all make mistakes, have regrets and say or do hurtful things to others from time to time. If you feel guilty, look back and see if there’s anything you can do to change the situation. If not, make peace with what has happened by seeing it as a learning curve and a mistake that won’t be repeated. Guilt is a great emotional tool in helping us act according to our core values and principles, and once you’ve acknowledged and learnt from the mistake, you need to let go.
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